"New, strange, uncharacteristic experience, coming at the needed moment, is sometimes as necessary in a person's life as a plow in a field." -Katharine Butler Hathaway
The lovely Claire sent this year's Microsoft Game Studio Christmas card. The idea came from a project from long ago. Claire's contribution was to repaint the avatars in clothes from their studio's games, and added "happier snow" and atmosphere. Very cute, I think!
Yes, this is who our Indian friends have dubbed "Maharaja Rob Pratap Singh" and "Princess."
The reception was supposed to start at 10pm. Yes. 10pm. Because we were told to meet in the lobby at 9, we arrived at 9:30 wearing my new ghagra choli and Rob wearing Naresh's jacket from a few days before. No one from our group was there. This might normally strike terror in our hearts, thinking we'd missed the bus to the ceremony. But since we'd seen so many of our friends in their sweats and jeans in the hallway on our way down to the lobby, we weren't concerned.
Soon Naresh, father of the bride, arrived with a large stack of bright orange folded cloth. He pulled up a chair and handed one of the cloths to a Sikh man who mysteriously appeared out of nowhere. And we watched in wonder as the Sikh man carefully and methodically wrapped Naresh in a turban. Little did we know who was next in line to be wrapped.
I'm not sure if I can convey how much of a shock it was to see Rob's head wrapped in orange by the Sikh man. I videotaped the entire process and will upload portions as soon as Rob has time to edit the footage. It was an amazing thing to witness. And the results speak for themselves.
All of the male relatives of the bride (and Rob) got orange turbans. The groom's side wore red turbans. So it was easy to find our group in the reception crowd, which grew to at least two thousand guests. Really. Two thousand.
This is the way it started. There weren't many people when we arrived. The fireworks in the photo above are announcing the groom's arrival. He comes on horseback with a brass band and a lot of drumming. The families line up to greet him. You can see the orange-turbaned group on the right above. And below.
Fireworks and tubas and drums are, I have to admit, a pretty exciting way to announce the groom. Below are two brief videos which show a little of the energy and pageantry. The groom is there somewhere amidst the frenzy.
And here are some more photos of the procession. See how easy it is to spot the bride's family (including Maharaja Rob) in the crowd.
The next part of the ceremony involved garlands and men lifting each other up and then posing for photos together. One man from the bride's side meets one from the groom's side. They exchange long white flower garlands and then each of them take turns lifting the other up to great applause and cheering.
This is about the time I asked Maharaja Rob if he was going to go up on stage to lift and be lifted. And he said, of course not. The Maharaja was wrong.
Below we see Rob on stage lifting up someone from the groom's family. I was in such a state of shock to see him up there that I entirely missed the part where he was lifted up by the other guy. Frankly, if I didn't have this photo, I still wouldn't believe it.
Even Namit's son, Artun, had a turban and participated in the lifting ritual. I love his tennies. (Be sure to see the detail on his mother's outfit at left. It is exquisite.)
Below is the Marahaja Rob with friend and co-worker, Anshul. Behind them, you can get a little sense of the scale of the event, and the thousands of people who began to arrive there. It is now MIDNIGHT.
The bride joins the groom, along with her family. Notice all of the things that she is required to wear, including a pretty amazing nose ring. Many of these things are part of the 16 adornments of the bride, and each has a special significance.
Here we are trying to keep warm while waiting for the actual wedding ceremony. It is not yet 1 AM which is way past our bedtime. By then, most all of the two thousand guests have left. Only the hard-core group stay for the wedding itself. I guess that means that we're hard-core.
Here, I'm pretending to take a photo of Rob, but really I just liked the combination of Rob, wedding videographer, Sikh man with big gun, near the cappuccino booth.
It was Rochi's job to make sure Rob didn't fall asleep during the ceremony. The ceremony began at 1 AM and went until 3 AM. Apparently, in Indian wedding videos, it's common to see guests and family falling asleep during the ceremony. Even the bride's mother fell asleep - on stage.
Below was the scene for the wedding. It was on another stage, covered in hundreds and hundreds of strands of real marigold garlands, with a portable heater in the middle. This is what's called a "fire" ceremony so there is a fire there but you can't see it in the pictures. I thought the portable heater was a good stand in for actual fire, but I guess they needed the real thing. The two holy men from the bangles ceremony presided over this ceremony as well.
Here is the beginnings of many walks around the fire. As you can see, it's a small space and it was not easy for the bride and her gown to avoid getting something burned in the process. There were not a few close calls that evening.
Here the bride receives the red sindoor mark on the front part of her hair that is another symbol of her marital status. She is also given a maangtika of gold and semiprecious stones, which is worn in the center of her part. She also is given a bindi on her forehead. The earrings that she wears are so heavy that they are supported by the gold band across her head. The rest of the 16 adornments involve special eyeshadow, flowers, armlets, rings, anklets, and fragrance.
And finally, the ceremony is complete and the exhausted newlyweds pose for one more photo.
It is now 3:30 in the morning. Fortunately, Shilpa and Susheel asked us if we were ready to go back to the hotel. Since A.) we were freezing cold, B.) Rob was having a hard time staying awake, C.) his turban was starting to hurt his ears, and D.) it was now time for the newlyweds to eat dinner and then say their goodbyes which was estimated to last until at least 5 AM, we thought that we could head home now.
We pinched ourselves to make sure it was all real.
We started Wedding Day Four as we always did - breakfast by ourselves, followed by a slow trickle then rush of members of our group, starting with babies and nannies. Somewhere in the conversation, someone mentions that the bangle ceremony will be at 12:30 on the first floor. As usual, this is the first we'd heard of a bangle ceremony, thinking that the only event we had that day was the reception and wedding in the evening. As usual, we never know what will await us.
Rob and I arrive late for the ceremony (at 1pm) but find, of course, we are early. The room is empty, save a line up of white chairs, a white mattress, and a busy waiter. We ask said waiter if this is where the bangle ceremony is to be. He pretends to understand but clearly doesn't. We go downstairs and ask at the front desk. No one knows. We go back to the first floor. Fortunately, by then, Naresh, father of the bride, has arrived with the twins. Naresh says that this one's nickname is Bobla, which he said is a delicious little fish, and the other is Gobla. I don't remember what a Gobla is. But both Bobla and Gobla are wearing Spiderman outfits. I wonder if I'm properly attired.
The bangle ceremony (we learned as we went along) was another part of the Solah Shringar - the 16 adornments of the bride. It is the time when the bride's family gives the bride the bangles she will wear for the first year of her marriage. She won't remove them for any reason during that year. We were told this is a very emotional time for the bride, since the bangles are the final wedding gift she will receive from her family, and the bangles themselves represent the most visible manifestation of her marital status.
A white mattress was in the center of the room, and no one stepped on it without removing their shoes first. This was the holy place. Before the holy men arrived, it was the site of numerous photos of the spiderman twins.
The bride entered wearing surprisingly casual clothes (jeans!). She was surrounded by family, one of whom was carrying a bowl filled with a gold paste. The paste was made of oil, turmeric, and graham flour. We watched as each family member smeared a portion of the paste on the bride's face, hands, and feet. This for me was the singular most compelling image of the entire wedding process, as it was so intimate and personal. As each person added their paste on to the bride, the bride became more deeply emotional. The paste is supposed to give her a golden "glow" but it was a glow that was countered by her increasingly sad expression. I took only a few photos as each photo seemed like I was invading something that shouldn't be invading. And when I look at the photos now, I find myself getting teary. I can't forget that she is preparing to leave her home to live in a completely unfamiliar home many miles away.
Then the bride leaves to wash it all off, and returns for the rest of the ceremony. Each woman was given a bracelet tied with red string. The holy men appeared and gave the men a red bindi on their forehead. For some reason, the holy man added two pieces of rice to Rob's bindi. Rob thought it was because of his obvious elevated spiritual status.
The two holy men lit incense and candles, scattered herbs and petals, prayed, chanted, offered things to eat, etc. I kept getting distracted by the main holy man's "Amit Steels" bag which contained all the items he needed to do his job. It was like a bag one would get from a vendor at a convention, and I wondered if he might have found something a little more in harmony with the occasion and with his duties.
The bride was given her bangles in a bowl of milk-water. Then each person there is given a gold ornament consisting of three hanging bells. One by one they removed shoes, approached the bride, whispered in her ear, and tied the ornament on to a silver bangle on either of her wrists. Then they posed for a photo with her.
This was clearly even more emotional than the previous parts of the ceremony, so I was hoping that we could stay in the background and watch. But like most everything else in this wedding, we were encouraged to participate fully so we took off our shoes, each took an ornament, whispered in her ear, and tied the ornament to her wrist. We then posed for this photo. You can see Rob's faint rice bindi if you look carefully.
Then, in what would prove to be a very good idea from a bangle ceremony planning standpoint, the next step was for the unmarried women to come forward. Individually they kneeled before the bride while she vigorously shook the ornaments over the unmarried woman's head. If one of the ornaments came loose, then the woman would be married within the year. "Like your throwing the bouquet!" we were told. What I loved about this part was that the sisterhood and the shaking and the jingling all combined to cause the bride to lose her sad demeanor and to begin to laugh. That's the way the ceremony ended - with laughter and joy.
