My birthday started off in the hotel coffee shop with the wedding group singing "Happy Birthday" and each one shaking my hand. Most of the group looked like they were still in pajamas, but it's just their casual clothes. The women in some form of tunic and leggings, and the men in shirts down to their knees with matching pants. The babies were really in their pajamas. Only the nannies looked dressed up. We ate omlettes and fresh orange juice and freshly made aloo paratha, which is a Punjab potato-stuffed bread. No one would let us miss the alloo paratha.
The invitation said that the Mehendi Ceremony would start at 1 pm. But since nothing starts on time, we allowed ourselves an extra half hour. We walked up to the hotel rooftop at 1:30 and there was no one there but 30 waiters and a traditional band who was practicing for the big event. We went back to our hotel room until 2.
Pink, orange, yellow, green, and purple fabrics wrapping up everything in sight. Couches with thickly textured fabric pillows. Strings of tiny mirrors reflected the light. And then all the sarees arrived. Rob and I had walked into the Indian version of Arabian nights.
Below is Neeta, mother of the bride, holding one of the two twins of Namit (Rob's boss), and Aneesha, Namit's sister.
Below is Naresh, father of the bride and also called by most people, "Uncle," along with Neeta, who we ended up calling, "Mom."
Below is Arjun, brother of the bride, with one of the twins of Namit.
Below is Namit with both twins, his wife Ami, and son Artun.
Below is cousin Shari, Roshi, and Akshay. (I'm labelling everyone so I don't forget!)
Below on the left is Akshay and Neha (married one year ago). Theirs was an arranged marriage too. But it took Akshay a full year and a half to commit after the match was made. Neha says that arranged marriages work so well because the expectations are kept low. I think she may have a point.
Below is Namit and Rob. Namit started Prime Focus when he was 16. He's now 33. He loves to call Rob, "Old Man."
Here are the bride's family. All in gold. (Later you will see how well I fit in.) And note that later in the week, you might see one of these jackets on someone you know...
I didn't want to miss one moment of this ceremony, which is why we showed up so early, I guess. Namit calls this the "boring" part of the wedding. For me, it was the most anticipated part.
Mehendi is one of the "Sixteen Adornments" that are part of the wedding rituals. As part of the transition "from virgin to temptress" (or so says the internet), the bride's hands and feet are painted with elaborate henna patterns, including the letters (in Devangali script) of the groom's name. On their wedding night, he is supposed to try to locate the letters on her body. Finally, Ankita arrived with her henna freshly applied, dark and wet. So much detail. So hard to remember to keep your hands out in front so you don't mess it up!
Note that the henna is on both sides of her hands and goes all the way up past her elbows.
Here is the bride with her family.
Here she is with her parents and the grooms' parents.
With the groom and the groom's grandparents (I think).
Then the ladies started to dance.
And the men joined in.
Rob has this on video, as you need the sound to really get how wonderful this was. The fathers and uncles hold rupee bills over the dancers heads to bless them and the ceremony. And then all the rupees go into a pile near the band, to be given to the bride and groom.
Everyone was looking forward to real Punjabi food, which they all agreed was the best type of Indian food. There seemed to be more waiters than partygoers and each of them looked deeply saddened when you turned down their appetizer offering. The waiters did not always understand Rob's requests so they would take away his glass when he asked to keep it, and put meatballs on his plate when he said no. Namit said that the Indians always want to impress, so if they don't understand, they just improvise to save face.
Naresh insisted Rob and I try Gol Gappa (below). The guy making it pokes it with his finger, stuffs in some potato mixture, and then pours a sweet "water" (made with tamarind, coriander, chilis, ginger, and mint) over the whole thing. You eat it in one bite, hopefully without any of the juice splattering, and it was profoundly delicious, unlike anything I've ever eaten.
Below is Shilpa, Kanchi, and me. (Note: Anne seems to have got the gold jacket memo.)
Then the bangles were distributed. All the women and girls were given bangles by the bride's family. I was given at least 25 bangles which was officially the most number of bangles I've ever worn. Indian woman love their bangles.
Here I am with bangles and gold.
Below is Kanchi and her daughter. She and her husband are Sikh, so none of them, including their children, will ever cut their hair. Kanchi has an MBA from the US and counsels college students how to apply to be in an MBA program abroad.
Below is Shilpa and daughter, Ayana
And now for the best birthday present ever - all the women got mehendi. A small, slender boy with henna-stained hands took a gold foil cone, grabbed one hand, placed it firmly on his thigh, and started drawing. He worked quickly, making patterns and flowers from mid-forearm toward finger tips.
And, to my great delight, when he was done with the palms, he turned my hands over. Then he summoned another henna boy and together they did the back of my hands.
It wasn't just the henna. It was being a part of an ancient ritual, in an ancient country, as a part of a family experience. It was magical.
It takes at least a half hour for the henna to dry so I danced as best I could under the circumstances, trying hard not to spoil the art that covered my hands.
Below is Rob and friends.
Below is Rochi and me. Rochi is a corporate lawyer for Tata, one of the biggest companies in India.
And I'll end with two photos of the bride, who was gloriously beautiful. Which is also how I would describe the colors, the ceremony, our new friends, and my birthday. Best birthday ever.
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